By Riot Trrrt
Posted Friday, June 17th, 2016
Full Disclosure: I used to be a “consultant” for a multi-level marketing (MLM) company. I was pretty awful at it, but:
- I had just reached new levels of life failure
- I wanted cheap face wash.
I threw two “parties” (to family only), attended two meetings, and realized it wasn’t my bag. I could write an entire novel about why, and I probably will someday. For the next three years, I acted as a dealer to family members until I couldn’t justify ordering enough to be considered “active”. Since then, the MLM business model has absolutely fascinated and confounded me. I have spent many hours pondering the methods by which they grow and remain in business. Because my brain is amazing, this has lead many conspiracy theories. I’m going to explore the first of them below. Enjoy.
Conspiracy Theory #1: The Wizard-style Marketing
Yes. The Wizard. The pinnacle of cinematic entertainment of 1989. THE summer blockbuster. Actually, I’m pretty sure that when Fred Savage looks back upon his acting career, he thinks of this movie and vomits in his mouth. In one of those strange moments of irony, this movie is arguably (yes, you can argue against it) one of the most culturally important movies of my generation? Why do you ask? Two reasons:
- It was the world’s introduction to Super Mario III.
- It introduced every person born within a 5-year radius of 1982 to the not just the existence of the all-important warp whistle in Super Mario III, but the ACTUAL LOCATION of the first one.
The movie is also the most blatant example of product placement in movies that was marketed to my age group. It had everything: Fred Savage, Universal Studios, the Power Glove, Fred Savage, Super Mario III, and Fred Savage. The latter went on to become the best selling game of all time, not surprisingly. I’ve completed two minutes hours of looking at Wikipedia peer-reviewed research and can not at this time find proof that Nintendo made the movie, but I’m pretty sure they did. I’d be curious to see how much they paid Universal Pictures to be in it.
Why do I bring it up? The rise of abuse of social media from MLMs in recent years.
I'm very aware that multi-level marketing existed before social media. However, when I was but a wee consultant, I was never once counseled to post anything on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, My Space, Friendster, etc. I was just expected to randomly talk to people about their skin-care needs. But times have changed, oh how times have changed. At some point in the past 7 years, the MLM industry got together and forged a campaign to take over the world. Thanks to social media, consultants of all brands have limitless opportunities to gently nudge me to buy their wares. With a click of a button or a swipe of a keyboard, they can spam my wall/feed/page with their advertisements/please with ease.
Let’s take a minute and take a virtual tour of my Facebook newsfeed:
- Baby picture.
- Fancy meal.
- Baby picture.
- LOLCats.
- Trump Meme.
- Anti-Trump Meme.
- I see “Dear High School Friend” who is recently starting their life’s greatest journey. You have decided to not just experience your facial moisturizer, but invite me to share in your journey to facial yourself via pictures.
- Click-bait (You’re right, I WON’T believe what happens next)
- I also see “Old Co-Worker”, who makes her own videos that discuss her newest method of contouring her eyes with the makeup she sells, or pleas to the general population to purchase her makeup so she can afford her next trip.
- A recipe that I will surely mess up being put together in fast forward.
- Passive-aggressive Vaguebooking
- Not-so-passive-aggressive Vaguebooking
- Fifty-two slightly different blurry pictures of high school friend’s kid’s dance recital.
- I see “Random College Person that I Met a Few Times” has added me to her other friend’s “Facebook Party” (spoiler: no booze) so I can luckily receive constant updates about the leggings and shirts I can buy, or the newest way to use Essential Oils. Thanks for that last one by the way. I hope you choke on your free Lavender Oil.
It would all be so understandable, if it were only just one person doing it. Except it isn’t. You see, there isn’t just one person selling Rodan and Fields. At this moment, I have no less than four Facebook friends selling R & F, three selling Younique, two selling Jamberries, and YOU ARE ALL DOING THE SAME THING. YES. THE EXACT SAME THING.
Yes. They are slightly different. However, across the board, I can tell you that selling R & F is a journey (for whatever reason, the R & F “journey” really bothers me. Who do you think you are, a Hobbit? Are you traveling to Mordor? Are you going to save Middle Earth?) for everyone who sells R & F. Countless lives have changed #becauseofLulaRoe. Younique has helped thousands understand the true meaning of a “goal” and “kudos”. And they are all clogging up my Facebook feed.
Case in point: another friend has started to sell Rodan and Fields. If it wasn’t for the abuse of Facebook, I would leave this life event with a solid feeling of, “Good for her!”. She is taking control of her finances, and I would normally wish her the best of luck. Unfortunately, bad social media behavior has lead me to know what will happen, and it has already started. Lucky for me, I can now watch another person turn their Facebook wall into a straight up advertisement for a brand (as opposed to their own thoughts and pictures of their own life). I get it, she’s excited. She’s off on a journey. She’s a “small business owner”. This is the American Dream. Except, it is not.
MLM consultants believe that they are small business owner, but they are no more a small business owner than the owner of a Subway. When I think of “small business”, I think of Bobarino’s, the delicious sandwich store that creates my go-to meatball sandwich. Bobarino’s answers to nobody but Bobarino himself. I used to work at a Subway. I was a Sandwich Artist. I sold Subway turkey that was placed on Subway bread and covered in Subway mayonnaise. I can go to the Subway down the street and get almost an exact replica of the Subway sandwiches I made 16 years ago (well, not exact. They cut the bread differently now). It is a nationwide chain. So is Rodan and Fields, Jamberry, Thrive, etc.
Why does it bother me? Because these consultants, who I truly believe have the best intentions, are being used.
Do they realize that their "journey" is nothing more than free advertising for a company? Instead of paying for sidebar ads, all a MLM company has to do is convince another person that the way to earn their dream house is post a bunch of social media stock photos and blurbs. The fact that I have so many people selling the same items makes it very obvious that they are getting these “photos”, “deals”, dreams, etc. from the same place. As a result, they are giving these very large and not “small business” billions of dollars in free advertising each year. Why should Younique pay for sidebar Facebook advertisements, when they can convince thousands of women trying their best pay Younique for the privilege of advertising their product?
And that, my dear readers, is what bothers me the most. I know that on some level, we are being used by corporations every minute of the day. However, when Kindergarten Riot Trrrt went to the movies to see The Wizard in 1989, she wanted to spend two hours believing that if she played video games enough, all of her life problems would be solved. It worked for Fred Savage. She was not looking for two hours of advertising. It didn’t harm her, but older Riot Trrrt finds it absolutely ridiculous that no adult stopped the madness and called Universal Studios out on their shenanigans. In a similar vein, adult Riot Trrrt embraces social media, but finds it ridiculous that it is now socially acceptable for people to hijack my news feed with their constant advertisements. All because they believe that they are somehow bettering themselves when it is only bettering Big Makeup, Big Purse, Big Room Deodorizer, etc. Let’s face it, most of these consultants spend the majority of their time engaging in socially acceptable behaviors. How do we get them to see that they are becoming the social media version of that lady on the bus who eats coleslaw out of the tub with her bare hand? That person that you absolutely 100% try to avoid sitting next to?
It’s time to stop the madness. Let’s go back to the times when you marketed your products via uncomfortable conversations and tricking people into attending parties. I’m still trying to figure out the best method in which to bring the system down. It’s time to start a movement. It’s time to rage against the MLM.
About the Author:
A master of dry sarcasm, I’ve devoted my life to the pursuit of knowledge and good music, subverting the system, celebrating good times, enjoying the weirdness of life, pointing out the ridiculous, and helping others. I consider myself a breaker of glass ceilings/chains, a fighter of equal rights, and a lover of chocolate chip cookies.
