By Basic Tart
Posted on Tuesday, July 28th, 2016
Previously on Teenage Newlyweds: The three couples got married and went on honeymoons where they got to have sex which is the reason they got married!
Time for Episode 3 to “find out what happens when the honeymoon is over and married life gets real”! (Nice Real World knock-off!)
We open with Halie and George leaving for Utah. Halie’s entire family is gathered to send them off since they will never see her again. Christy (Halie’s mom) has put cookies and water in the SUV for them so they have snacks for the drive. Aww. Christy says she’s “not just the mom but I’m also the friend. I don’t want that dynamic to fade.” Is there no phone service in Utah? Halie cries as they pull away and George holds her hand to try to comfort her. Then we quickly get four "I love you's"!
Brenda tells us how she’s missed Travis since they’ve been separated for three months to save money. She’s been living with her mom and he’s been staying with a friend while he works at a camp. He shows us the kitchen where he “cries lonely-ly while I heat up water by myself”. Luckily, he’s shaved the ridiculous non-beard from his face. Brenda says she can’t wait to move in with him because there’s a lot of tension and disagreements with her mom. I don’t know what she thinks it will be like living with Travis since they don’t seem to agree on much of anything. Brenda’s mom and sister sit for an interview where her sister says Brenda is a feminist and her mom says she doesn’t like that term because to her it means a woman doesn’t do things for a man and she never had a problem cooking and cleaning the house. Brenda’s sister corrects her that a feminist thinks women are “equal and valuable” and reminds her that “in that sense you are the biggest feminist in your family”. Brenda’s mom agrees and says she’s “a feminist but did not notice.” And I officially LOVE them!
Emma and Joey are thinking about buying their first house. Emma is super into it and Joey…isn’t. Emma is getting frustrated as she tries to show Joey houses online and he’s distracted and tells her not to get huffy with him. I really struggle with these two. I just don’t see why they were dating let alone why they got married. Emma says most couples their age can’t afford a house but they have enough in savings for a down payment and Joey’s parents see the house as a good investment. I wonder if they really think that or if they are like the rest of the world and think it’s a terrible idea for these two to buy a house when they will be divorced next week. Emma keeps looking at houses outside their price range. Ahh, champagne dreams and a beer budget, except they aren’t old enough to drink. That seems to perfectly sum up this relationship.
Travis says he’s a “free man! And by that I mean unemployed! Woohoo!” Oy. Travis shows up to get Brenda and they are very happy to see each other. Brenda’s mom is helping load the car so they can move into their new apartment. In an interview with her mom, we learn more about the family and how things were for her when she came to America, had her family and lost her husband. She is one strong lady and it’s clear she wants her kids to be able to take care of themselves since you never know what will happen.
Halie and George are moving to an apartment in Utah near George’s family since he hasn’t been home from his mission for very long. George found the apartment and Halie admits she’s nervous about moving in since she hasn’t seen it. They are 600 miles from Utah and Christy calls to tell Halie how much she misses her and she’s sad because Halie was crying when she left. And now I want to scream. I get missing your family but instead of making it a sad/scary thing why not focus on the new and exciting and encourage your daughter instead of crying and making her feel bad for leaving, which- by the way- you left your parents when you got married! And let’s not forget that Halie just graduated high school so if she hadn’t gotten married it’s possible she would have been moving away to college. Christy tells Halie and George she loves them and reminds them, probably for the 100th time, to call her when they arrive in Utah. George’s parents say how excited they are to have him and Halie so close.
Brenda is packed up and her grandma and mom offer advice before she and Travis leave. Her grandma says she hopes God blesses them because marriage is hard. Brenda says that she and her grandma view marriage differently, her grandmother has had three husbands: the first one was abusive, the second one was an alcoholic and her grandfather was “a bit of a player”. Brenda’s mom reminds them that the third string is strongest which references their wedding when they said God was the third string in their marriage. The advice is good but of course Travis and Brenda kind of roll their eyes because their marriage is different and special and will be easy.
Emma and Joey wake up and realize they are late leaving to meet with a mortgage broker. So of course Joey decides this is the perfect time to make eggs. Right, okay. Emma is trying to get all their paperwork together because the best time to do that is when you are late for your appointment not at some time before the appointment. Have I mentioned they are immature? And now Joey’s mom says the biggest challenge in their marriage will be him procrastinating. <<uncontrollable laughter>> They finally find the paperwork scattered all over the house and Emma throws clothes at Joey and tells him to get dressed. Yes they are still late and haven’t left yet.
Brenda and Travis are driving to their new apartment. Brenda is clearly excited and giggly. They explain that they are living in student housing near the school according to Travis, “technically it’s student housing because only students can be housed there.” Yes, that is a direct quote. Travis says the best thing about having your own apartment is the bedroom and Brenda says, “I feel like I’m excited about the bedroom but I’m more excited about the kitchen!” She’s used to her vibrator, so I guess having a kitchen of your own is more exciting! Travis says if she’s more excited about the kitchen then he “must be doing something wrong then!” Ding, ding, ding. Travis finally scores a point! Then they talk about how they don’t have to have quiet sex anymore and Travis says he’s “not sure how teenagers do it” and Brenda says, “It’s not that hard, actually.” Oh, burn!
Halie reminds George that she needs to call her parents when they get to their new apartment. George says he will call his parents since they live nearby and maybe they will get them dinner. In the interview Halie says again how she’s going to be far from her family and that will be hard. They cross into Utah and Halie says again how everything is new.
Travis and Brenda are still driving to their new place and start talking about kids. Travis wants three and that clearly makes Brenda nervous because kids are expensive. In an interview Travis says they are “only different in all the important categories”. Back in the car discussing kids and Travis is explaining that as you have kids each one is less expensive because you are “buying stuff in bulk”. My husband saw this part and says Travis doesn’t have a clue. Brenda is trying to explain how expensive kids are using college costs as an example but Travis blows that off because their kids won’t be in college “until 30 years from now” completely ignoring the fact that his kids will only be going to college in 30 years if he and Brenda wait 12 years to have any kids. For an engineering student, Travis does not math well. Brenda gets annoyed because he’s “talking over” her.
Emma and Joey are finally on the way to their appointment. Joey is eating four egg and sausage sandwiches on the drive. Yes, four. Joey’s mom says guys mature around age 25 while girls mature around 21-22. She says Joey is still only 21 and she’s hopeful she will see a change in him around 25 like she did her husband. I like her: she seems to have a good understanding of Joey’s faults and why this marriage was a bad idea.
Brenda decides that the drive to the apartment is a good time to discuss how they will raise their kids politically. Travis thinks their kids will be Republicans and she thinks they will be Democrats because she’s more politically active than he is. Travis says he will become politically active just to influence his kids and puts down Brenda’s ability to persuade people politically even though she studies political science in school.
Halie and George are still driving. Halie says her mom has always called her an old soul, even when she had stupid teenage moments. George agrees that she’s an old soul but says when they first started talking she was definitely a teenage girl. Oh, George. He then laughs and says she does “do drama stuff sometimes, it’s funny”. Oh, George. He laughs as Halie makes faces that should let him know he’s saying the wrong things but he keeps going. GEORGE! STOP TALKING! George doesn’t listen to me or the daggers in Halie’s eyes. Halie asks him what he’s talking about and he says, “I don’t know. It might just be a girl thing.” And here is the look his wife gives him:
Yeah, that’s not good. And yet he keeps going, “Yeah, it’s just like reading a little too far into things. Irrational thinking.” George, George, George. Guess who isn’t getting lucky the first night in their new apartment?
Emma and Joey are still driving to meet with the mortgage broker and are still late. Brenda and Travis are still driving and still arguing about politics and kids.
George is still being really insulting to Halie and “girls” and doesn’t even know it. She does call him on it and tell him, “You’re just being really stereotypical now and it’s rude and offensive.” Good to see Halie stand up for herself instead of letting George get away with being rude and ridiculous.
And WHY ARE ALL THESE CONVERSATIONS HAPPENING IN VEHICLES? Sorry for yelling but I’m trying to understand why the conversations that seem most important to building a strong relationship always happen when these three couples are driving somewhere. It’s either a really strange coincidence, producers are planting these conversations or it’s a way to keep production costs down by having cameras in the cars but not camera-operators. I’d say they it was possible they are recreating past conversations but none of them are that good at acting to be able to pull it off.
More driving and more arguing for everyone. I deleted a couple paragraphs because they don’t matter and it really is just more driving and arguing.
Joey and Emma FINALLY get to the mortgage broker’s office. I can’t help but wonder if they should have talked to someone about the home-buying process before they apply for a loan so they know what the steps are and what they are getting into. It’s a confusing process at any age but to walk into it just out of high school would be overwhelming. Maxine is their mortgage broker and she tells them they need to get approved for a loan before they start looking for houses. Maxine starts talking about numbers, fees, appraisals and approvals and Joey’s eyes glaze over. Emma says, “There was a lot of things I didn’t understand about the meeting. And that’s kind of what I didn’t like about it. Being first-time homebuyers we don’t know anything.” Ding, ding, ding. Looks like I was was right folks! Maxine mentions the program they will be applying for their loan through and Emma asks if they should look at any other programs. Maxine says this program is their best option which of course annoys Emma because Maxine answered the question she was asked and Emma wanted to know more about other programs even if this one is the best for them. Emma says, “We were just asking questions and she blew me off.” She didn’t blow them off. She answered the question she was asked AND if Emma and Joey wanted time to ask questions, they shouldn’t have been late to the appointment! But Emma is mad that she’s not getting her way.
Brenda and Travis get to their apartment. It’s a cute little place with one bedroom, one bathroom a small kitchen, and a small living room. It’s perfect for a college-aged couple even if their rent is expensive at $1300/month but as Brenda says it’s more convenient to live near campus. Travis says he should get more financial aid since he’s married. This makes it sound like they don’t even really know what their financial situation is and if they can afford the apartment. Hopefully they are getting good money from the show so they can pay their bills.
George and Halie arrive at their new apartment and George says he found it through his brother-in-law. His parents have stocked their fridge, cabinets, and bathroom. They are very happy, excited and #blessed. Halie says she loves it and it won’t be hard to live there. George’s parents show up to greet them- his dad has awesome fedoras- and talk about how happy they are to have George nearby but how difficult it will be for Halie to be away from her family. They seem really great.
Emma and Joey are still signing papers in Maxine’s office. Maxine says she thinks the process is “overwhelming” for them. Emma and Joey say in an interview that they were frustrated they weren’t given more time to read the papers they were signing because Maxine was rushing them. I repeat, if they felt rushed then they shouldn’t have signed the papers AND they should have been on time! Yes, I’m still annoyed that they were late. #sorrynotsorry Emma’s mom says she always told Emma to read everything she was signing. Which is good advice. In this case it would have been helpful to have one (or more) of their parents talk to the more about the paperwork and process of buying a house. It’s not as simple as walk in with your paystubs and taxes, get money and buy a house, but I think that’s what Joey and Emma were expecting and that is not the mortgage broker’s fault. These two (okay, Emma) are so insistent on proving they are adults and don’t need help that they are putting themselves in a situation where they don’t understand what is going on and what the ramifications of their actions are.
Halie and George are carrying in boxes of their stuff to get their new place set up. In an interview, Halie reminds us one more time how everything is changing and will be new for her. She calls her mom (on speaker) to let her know they have arrived safely. Her parents talk again about how it’s sad and weird that she’s not there. Halie says she will talk to them tomorrow. Another interview with Halie and she says she misses her family and living in Utah will be a struggle. Which is the opposite of what she said earlier.
Brenda and Travis are making dinner and Brenda decides to make a potato dish like her grandma makes. It didn’t turn out the way she expected, but Travis says he was “a good husband” and ate it anyway. They then look at some wine glasses they were given as a wedding gift that are engraved with the saying “Marriage is not a sprint, it’s a marathon.” They are talking about what they think it means and Brenda seems annoyed that everyone keeps telling her marriage can be difficult at times. Travis fills them with milk and says, “My friend has so much faith in our relationship. He knows it will at least last the next couple years so we can finally use these!”. This seems to reassure Brenda, but having faith a marriage will last two years seems a little sad. Travis’s parents say Travis and Brenda can’t ignore their differences or they will be a “train wreck, basically”. So she’s clearly optimistic about this marriage.
Emma and Joey have signed their life away and are back in the car. Emma says, “Going through her honestly seems a little scammy to me.” It’s clear she was expecting someone to hold her hand and Maxine isn’t doing that. When Emma points out, “It would be better to go to a bank. It would be cheaper to go to a back.” Joey says they can always try a bank which annoys Emma, “No we can’t. Because we just signed papers today saying we have to go through Maxine…Did you read what you signed?” and it’s even more clear they aren’t on the same page, don’t understand what happened in their meeting and should have waited to buy a home. And everyone knows it except them.
Halie cry/sad count: 4
Halie’s mom is sad/crying: 4
George and Halie I love you count: 4- a little low this episode but George was more interested in annoying Halie than getting laid
Next episode: Kids and parenting!
About the Author:
Mini-van driving, coffee and wine drinking, sports loving, chocolate eating, work outside the home, cradle/cafeteria Catholic, pro-vax, married mom of 3 (including twins). I enjoy reading Harry Potter, romance novels, People magazine and true-crime. I live in the rural American heartland.
